Why is good communications so hard? This weekend I completely missed our family Easter party because I didn't get the message that the date of our gathering had changed.
Saturday afternoon I was outside blissfully planting flowers and enjoying the beautiful weather while my family was frantically trying to reach me because we hadn't arrived. They had assumed the worst and reached out to the state police for accident reports and were contemplating sending out a search party before I finally came inside, saw all the missed calls and called them back.
Did I hear the date wrong? Was I not around when they discussed the day again and decided upon Saturday? Who knows.
But one thing I know for sure–despite the fact that I've been working on communicating better for the last few years, I still have much room for improvement.
I'm admitting to myself that half, or maybe more than half of that equation begins with listening. So that's what I'm working on this season. Listening.
Quietly.
Deeply.
Silently listening.
And it's hard. I'm always so ready to make myself heard, that it takes conscience effort to zip my lips and be open to fully receive, hear and understand what the other person has to say.
What's helping me most with this right now is my breath. I'm breathing through that urge to interrupt what my husband is repeating to me because we can't seem to agree. I'm focusing on my breath as I wait my turn to share when I'm excited. I'm breathing deeply to slow down enough to listen inward to what my body is telling.
I’m also noticing is that listening isn’t just about hearing words.
It’s about creating space.
Space between someone else’s sentence and my response.
Space between what I think I heard and what was actually said.
Space between the moment and my reaction to it.
A few small things I’m practicing right now:
- Pausing for one full breath before responding
- Letting someone finish completely—even if I think I know what they’re going to say
- Asking, “Is this what you meant?” instead of assuming
- Putting my phone down (even when it’s tempting to multitask)
- Noticing when I’m listening to reply… instead of listening to understand
None of this is complicated.
But it is taking intention.
Maybe it's partially because real listening asks us to soften, and often we are preoccupied with doing the opposite–being strong, ready, etc.
So in reality, this season, I’m practicing several things this season–listening, creating space and allowing softness.
So here's to softer and deeper connections this week. 💕 Julie
I listen with presence and curiosity.
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