Good morning and welcome to a brand new week. A chance to start over again. A chance to do things a little better than last week.
And with that in mind I thought I'd share about how lately it seems increasingly difficult to simply let someone have a different opinion than our own. Our society has become increasingly polarized.
But then the other day I noticed it blatantly in myself as well.
A few days ago, I was talking about this very topic with the woman who was polishing my teeth. She made a comment about how much more love and compassion we seem to need in the world.
I completely agreed.
Then, in the same conversation, she said something that I completely disagreed with.
As I was forced to pause with my mouth open wide for a dental instrument, I noticed that I had a strong urge to tell her how I thought differently.
Still waiting for her to finish her work on my teeth, I listened to the voice in my head and I realized from the course of the conversation that nothing I could say would change her mind.
Me sharing my opinion would accomplish nothing other than making sure she knew that I disagreed.
So I didn't say it, but I had to consciously choose not to.
I thought about this more after I got home, partly because I'm currently rereading one of Thich Nhat Hanh's books on communication and right speech. I'm reading just a few pages a day, because I realize that understanding something isn't the same as practicing it.
And I realize that I need the practice.
It feels like that's where the real work is. That's where the change happens. That's where you actually, slowly become who you want to be.
Now in this case, I'm not learning how to agree with everyone.
Rather I'm revisiting principles and suggestions that will help me learn how to disagree without needing to correct, convince or be right.
I've explored this concept and how to actually make strides in this direction a bit more in my recent blog post: How to Disagree Respectfully: Do We Really Have to Say What We Think?
I think the way we speak to each other is an important aspect of intentional living. And I'm learning that sometimes the most important thing I can do with my words is to pause long enough to ask why I wanted to speak in the first place.
With love,
💕 Julie
I listen with curiosity and speak intentionally with kindness.
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